On Thanksgiving Day, families across the country participate in the time-honored tradition of the turkey trot.
A turkey trot is a 5K held on Thanksgiving to either fundraise or promote health and fitness—ironically on a day dedicated to eating as much food as possible.
However, many believe that such an event is more of an inconvenience to the holiday rather than an enjoyable event.
First, turkey trots take valuable time out of one’s day during the holiday. Most of the runs start around 9 a.m., right during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade [This is still a thing?] and the prime time to put the turkey in the oven if you host.
A runner who previously completed the New York Marathon asserted that he, “would absolutely do the turkey trot, but there is just no time in the day to do it.” [There is a time in the day to run it, which coincidentally coincides with the start time of the actual turkey trot in question.]
Generally, families complete the trots together, making it mandatory for every member. In theory, this could get children more into running, but why? [Because when most children (and adults, for that matter) are left to their own devices, they choose laziness.]
The vast majority of kids do not enjoy running. [Nor do adults. The non-enjoyment of running continues to maintain universal appeal.] So why sully a day dedicated to fun family time with unnecessary exercise? [See previous bracket re: laziness.]
Furthermore, this race does not get more convenient as the children grow up. Thanksgiving falls right between the fall and winter seasons of sports. Many teenage and even college athletes do not want to risk getting hurt in the off season, a possibility since most races are poorly organized and filled with inexperienced runners. [If your hypothetical college athletes are afraid of competing against the unskilled and inexperienced, I shudder to imagine how they feel when they go up against trained, collegiate opponents.]
Ava Gutierrez-Biggar, a cross-country runner, said that she would never want to participate in a turkey trot. “I run all the time, why would I waste my time on Thanksgiving to do that? That’s psychotic.” [Oh no, she didn’t.]
In fact, why do so many people participate in it? A large reason is the theory that you can “run off your calories,” using the run to ease their guilty consciences about eating so much during the day. Not only is this a problematic mindset to have, but it is also scientifically inaccurate. [So is static stretching before you’ve warmed up, but people continue to do that, too.]
Turkey trots are generally the length of a 5K. In a 5K, the average person will only burn 300–500 calories, while the typical Thanksgiving feast can reach up to 2,000 calories. The idea that you need to “earn your food” is both harmful and completely useless in the long run. [So what you’re saying is that instead of turkey trots, which are only 5K, we need Masticatory Marathons or Umami Ultras?]
While turkey trots are not inherently bad, there are negative factors around them. No one would begrudge you for taking part in your own turkey trot on Thanksgiving, but think twice before implementing it into your own family.
Kira, a senior at River Dell, agrees, “Having to run on Thanksgiving of all days is kind of demonic. It sounds terrible.” [Don’t hold back, Kira. Tell us how you really feel.]
